7/23/2009

Nahh this isn't about you, nor about the person you think it is.
not about her, her, or her.
late night tips up doing nothing but think
can't sleep cause this feelings stuck, blank page, help.
but my eyes are hella drowzy so i can't help but blink.
imeem slowjam playlist and the only word i hear is love.
hah but i'm not gonna fall for it, well that's what i tell myself at least
like brian and his boobie traps, loves waiting for me to fall in.
not sick i ain't gonna call in, lifes a gamble so fcuk it i'm all in.
too bad i scuk at poker, i couldn't win even with a hand full of jokers.
badluck, nah just bad without the luck.
the closest thing to luck i got is lucy.
yeah probably the best ive ever had too.
but i would'nt know i mean what's best if i haven't had it yet?
maybe i have, but if i did, wouldn't you think i'd know by now?
maybe you're just not doing enough to keep me around
maybe i'm doing too much.
NAH.
i'm doing exactly what you're doing.
NOTHING.
we're going the same direction.
NO WHERE.
i want what they share, but they want what i got.
lets just be friends, cause youre good at that.
we don't talk much, and i don't usually do this but
LETS FCUK.
no really mind sex for some foreplay, then
i stick my feelings in your mouth
deepthroat my thoughts and think about your next move
while i'll go down on you.
AND
missionary starts to get you vulnerable
leaving you're heart weak,
i go in for the kill making you grip sheets
just the fact that this conversations so intense.
gets you hella wet.
it was nice talking to you tho.
lets reminisce, back when we would talk on the phone late at night.
til 5pm or sunrise and sleeping early didn't feel right.
but seems like everyones on that latenight tip now a days.
seriously where are you at the end of the day?
from calling and texting to nothing but a question, why?

LAST NIGHT

A whole day of realizing I need you more then you need me
I still don't understand.
To my knowledge she was different, but she wanted the normal type love.
The no you can't, I won't let you, and you can't talk to him type love.
Apparently giving you too much space letting you do what you want backfires on me, and when you think I don't care cause I'm not tryna tie you down, I end up getting hurt.
I've felt lonely ever since we went out, but right now I miss you the most.
I'm not a man of many words
Neither do I like to show my emotions
So it kills me to sit here and watch you leave.
Another fresh wound to accompany the one that barely healed
My hearts not broken yet, just damaged
from rolling my sleeve up too high.
To the point where I'm laying here spilling my heart to my ex about you
And she telling me that I need to talk to you or move on to the next girl
But right now i have no hope, I lost faith.
Every girl in my lifes gone cause I gave you too much space.
I'm a bad man not to mention boyfriend
But were getting ahead of ourselves here
And age ain't shit, just a number.
If you're really tryna make it work, then I'm sure you'll be on the front page of successful magazine, I'd subscribe cause i'm jealous of your lifestyle even tho I already got a guap of issues myself.
I'll find time to hangout with you.
But my time and you're time don't seem to click even though we live a couple miles apart
It's like you live across the world and we can only webcam eachother, split oreos, dunk them in milk, and say goodnight.
Nope not even that cause her webcam doesn't work.
Someone told me the phone doesn't just work one way, but in this case
The only time you call me is when you get a missed call
When i confront her, she gets fed up
We argue about it several times but it hasn't changed up
just her makeup.
Found another dude she wanna game up
Now i'm back were i started.

VENTING

While I'm sitting here writing this I'm shaking
my breathing feels a bit faint but yet vaguely heavy
I wanna vomit
And for every second I pause to think
I can count every heartbeat
But Right now every pound sounds like a lollaby
Making my eyes droopy.
My minds filled with clustered thoughts that,
I can't put into words,
But if I could...
it wouldn't feel the same
Wouldn't kill you to read it as much as it does for me to live it.
But I'm used to it, like I used to love her.
The past is just a blur
Remembered in words
Carved into my chest
No I don't regret it, if I did
Then I regret loving you?
Nah.
Now she feels how you felt
When she's hugging me
Problem is she's not loving me.

EYE DEE KAY.

First off, I'm not him, so don't compare me.
Just get to know me, cause for some people that's the hardest part
I'll invest my time in you
Just give me yours in return, s'all I ask for.
I'll give you space trust me
and you don't have to love me
just show me or pretend like you care.
And I'll do the same, pinky swear.
Just miss me when I miss you,
kiss me when I kiss you
Cause when I'm gone the smallest things I did to annoy you will be the biggest thing you miss the most about me.
If you don't already know wassup, then I suggest you don't talk to me.
Just don't bother calling or texting
Me for awhile it's not like you ever did
So why start now?

I'll just see you around,
don't take it the wrong way if I don't say hi
I'm still tryna figure out a way to say goodbye.

& Maybe one day we can start fresh.

:(

Baby you're cute
The type of cute when you
hit me for complimenting you
Since you
don't know what to say back
You're quick to react
CUTE
like when I lean in for a kiss
you already have your eyes closed
And your lips puckered
SUCKER
I just wanted to tell you
That you look lovely
But don't punch me
I know you get this alot, but you're
CUTE
from yummy hugs
To tummy rubs
You give me tarydactles
And if it ain't a hassel
Lemme ask you,
How you do that?
[what]
look so beautiful.

SUMMER

I can say I missed you more then how much you shine.
We all get the fact your hot, but summer, 3 shades darker tho?
Take it easy on me I'm just tryna catch some waves
both in the water and miss tubetop over there I might just wave back.
Hah i don't wanna get you jealous tho cause we all know how that goes,
Throwing a misfit like you're hanging out with miss bitch
then you both fall into autumn
I mean it's cool, but not my thing even tho my birthdays in October.
I spent a weekend sober now I'm just waiting on spring.

2:41 AM

2:41am and I wonder if she's thinking about me too
What we have most want and what we want they share.
Cause when I'm not there she don't care
It's fair tho I ain't around much
Questions if I still put it down huh?
I'm faithful and that's that
She ain't tryna believe me tho cause I bumped gums with a bop way back
She Said I don't trust you preki.
Lovehate relationship she loves to hate me
But me on the other hand I hate to love her cause she don't trust me
Don't blame her tho look at my badself I'm all about a good time fast cars sushi and nice shoes
I ain't got all of the above but I'm nice too
I promise.