VENTING

While I'm sitting here writing this I'm shaking
my breathing feels a bit faint but yet vaguely heavy
I wanna vomit
And for every second I pause to think
I can count every heartbeat
But Right now every pound sounds like a lollaby
Making my eyes droopy.
My minds filled with clustered thoughts that,
I can't put into words,
But if I could...
it wouldn't feel the same
Wouldn't kill you to read it as much as it does for me to live it.
But I'm used to it, like I used to love her.
The past is just a blur
Remembered in words
Carved into my chest
No I don't regret it, if I did
Then I regret loving you?
Nah.
Now she feels how you felt
When she's hugging me
Problem is she's not loving me.